DOMINO’S GEARS UP FOR GADZTO ’25 WITH PIZZA DRONES, MULE CONVOYS, AND A FLAMING DELIVERY SEGWAY
With Gadzto ’25 expected to break all attendance records, Domino’s Pizza has announced its “most ambitious festival delivery strategy to date” — including thermal-insulated drones, a team of highly trained mules, and one flaming Segway ridden by an ex-fire juggler named Stuart.
“Last year we ran out of dough on Day 2 and had to barter with the Vegan Sausage Roll Commune,” said regional manager Pepper O’Nee. “This time, we’re bringing in backup. Six extra pizza trucks, a converted horsebox oven, and a guy called Big Pete with a parachute and a hot bag.”
Domino’s has also confirmed the return of their controversial “Glow-in-the-Dark Garlic Dip Dispensers”, which can now double as rave torches in emergency situations.
When asked why Domino’s keeps showing up to this increasingly unhinged event, O’Nee simply replied:
“Because people will sell their tent for a hot Mighty Meaty at 3am. And we respect that energy.”
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